Hello 2021!

A week and a half into 2021! Happy New Year! I hope despite being back in Lockdown that your year is going okay so far.

A lot happened in 2020, and yet, not a lot happened in 2020. For me, it actually wasn't all bad. I kept up my blog, I stopped biting my nails, I got cats, I started driving lessons, and applied for university. Most importantly, 2020 has been an excellent year for my faith. 2020 allowed time. Time to get to know God. Time to get to know me. Time to relax. Time to be still. Time to be with family. Time to enjoy just being. It's not that I've never had time to do these things, but there has always been college, or school, or assignments and in my free time all I ever wanted to do was switch off and watch a movie. 2020 allowed for a different type of switching off. Yes, I have spent a lot of time on Netflix and social media, but all the time I would usually be doing assignments or college work, I instead got to know Jesus, go on walks and pray, look at the beauty of what Jesus has done in my life and reflect on what God is teaching me in this time. My faith has been strengthened so much just by having nothing to do. 

There are two things that I would say really helped to strengthen my faith this past year.

The first is taking time to listen. To listen to the air and sounds around me rather than constantly having earphones in and blocking up my ears and mind with music and youtube junk.

The second is to allow the spirit to lead. Taking it step by step, day by day. Not dwelling on the bad things or planning anything, but just allowing the spirit to guide my days, my thoughts. This is what really helped me to stay relaxed, joyful, hopeful, and sane during lockdown.

I mentioned before that I had applied to univetsity last year. My first choice was Reading University, but as of yesterday, I have not been excepted into Reading university. This is should be a bigger disappointment to me than it is because I felt so strongly that this was the uni I was supposed to get to, that Reading was where God was calling me to, evidently not. However, I do not feel as disappointed as I thought I would be. I'll admit I was on the verge of tears when I first received the rejection email, but when I started to think about it and pray about it. I realised God's ways are higher than mine. I know that God will send me where I need to go, He is the one who holds my future. Obviously, this does not mean I am not allowed to be disappointed because I am, but it just means that I know my God is bigger, his ways are better and I have been put on this earth to serve his will, his way, and to let his glory be known. If that means I don't get into the uni I wanted to then so be it. I know God is giving me peace and comfort in my disappointment which just makes me love him so much more.

Reaseheath University is my second choice, it's also where all my friends from college go. I've not yet had a reply from Reaseheath, but I really am praying that I get in. I would love to go to the same uni as my friends. I've also been to Reaseheath before when I was in college, and so there would be some familiarity with it. I don't know what God's plans are, but I know they are plans for me to prosper and not to fail, and so I trust in him.

I don't have much else to write about, I just wanted to get some feelings out. I hope that my feelings have encouraged you. I hope your 2021 is going alright. Remember to breathe. Praying 2021 is an all-round better year for this world. 

BeeBee

xxx