I'm back at Uni! My first term is coming to an end already! When I first arrived back it was definitely weird. There were so many things that were familiar, the campus, the town, the teachers and peers. But, there were also still so many things that were new. A house full of new people, the routine, and even I feel like a new person a little bit. I grew so much last year. Everything was fresh, from the classes and teachers to the drinking and going out. I had yet to work out the balance of everything; assignments, social life and my faith. I went through quite a spiritual transformation last year, bringing me into this year with a fresh mindset about everything. Not only that but over the summer I got baptised and was a Limitless Festival volunteer. I believe both got me out of my comfort zone and were real encouragements and strengtheners for my faith.
Limitless Festival was incredible. It was an awakening for this generation and the longing that this world has for a connection with Jesus and his Holy Spirit. The teachings were terrific and the whole event helped us to listen, wait and connect with the spirit of Jesus. A lot of the nights we would sit in silence just waiting. Waiting on the Lord to move and speak. It was such an encouragement to see the Lord move in these moments among the young people. The testimonies I've heard of the Lord speaking to people during that week are incredible. I got to be a part of a team that helped 480 people respond to the gospel and give their lives to Jesus.
This first term has been a struggle. I am enjoying it, my lessons are fun and more focused on the animal areas that I am interested in (except research methods, eew ugh). At the end of October/beginning of November, I was really having a hard time focusing on assignments. Every time I would open one I would just wanna shut off and cry, I was fully ready to quit. I know this probably just sounds like what every university student goes through, and it probably is, but I'm talking about it anyway. All my life I have wanted to study animals and work with them, I have never wanted to do anything else. But, in November I really started to question whether it was something I wanted to do or even something I can do, like am I actually capable or am I just gonna fail. I was having an identity crisis! I lost passion for everything, I started to think about the fact that if I did quit, I would have no idea what else I am good at, maybe I'm not good at anything! It was really depressing and very unmotivating because I just kept thinking that I am not capable, maybe I'm just stupid and I suck and I don't know anything! To be honest, I still don't think there is anything else I could do apart from animal management, I think it's the only skill I could pursue a career in (just about). However, my thoughts of being a massive failure have begun to fade with prayer. As always, the Lord was there to pick me up. As much as I thought about quitting and giving up on my lifelong pursuit, the Lord equally reminded me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, His ways are better than my ways. He reminded me of his promises for me and told me to keep on the path towards Him and I will not fail. Slowly, I began to cast my cares upon the Lord. I reminded myself of things learnt at Limitless Festival and how we must wait on the Lord and wait with the Lord. He restored my strength. I found motivation again. Although one of the assignments still makes me wanna cry, it doesn't make me want to quit. The Lord also encouraged me through my sisters and through new-found friends. Having a community is just so much better than wallowing by yourself.
