Last post of the Year I guess

I'm back at Uni! My first term is coming to an end already! When I first arrived back it was definitely weird. There were so many things that were familiar, the campus, the town, the teachers and peers. But, there were also still so many things that were new. A house full of new people, the routine, and even I feel like a new person a little bit. I grew so much last year. Everything was fresh, from the classes and teachers to the drinking and going out. I had yet to work out the balance of everything; assignments, social life and my faith. I went through quite a spiritual transformation last year, bringing me into this year with a fresh mindset about everything. Not only that but over the summer I got baptised and was a Limitless Festival volunteer. I believe both got me out of my comfort zone and were real encouragements and strengtheners for my faith.

Limitless Festival was incredible. It was an awakening for this generation and the longing that this world has for a connection with Jesus and his Holy Spirit. The teachings were terrific and the whole event helped us to listen, wait and connect with the spirit of Jesus. A lot of the nights we would sit in silence just waiting. Waiting on the Lord to move and speak. It was such an encouragement to see the Lord move in these moments among the young people. The testimonies I've heard of the Lord speaking to people during that week are incredible. I got to be a part of a team that helped 480 people respond to the gospel and give their lives to Jesus. 

This first term has been a struggle. I am enjoying it, my lessons are fun and more focused on the animal areas that I am interested in (except research methods, eew ugh). At the end of October/beginning of November, I was really having a hard time focusing on assignments. Every time I would open one I would just wanna shut off and cry, I was fully ready to quit. I know this probably just sounds like what every university student goes through, and it probably is, but I'm talking about it anyway. All my life I have wanted to study animals and work with them, I have never wanted to do anything else. But, in November I really started to question whether it was something I wanted to do or even something I can do, like am I actually capable or am I just gonna fail. I was having an identity crisis! I lost passion for everything, I started to think about the fact that if I did quit, I would have no idea what else I am good at, maybe I'm not good at anything! It was really depressing and very unmotivating because I just kept thinking that I am not capable, maybe I'm just stupid and I suck and I don't know anything! To be honest, I still don't think there is anything else I could do apart from animal management, I think it's the only skill I could pursue a career in (just about). However, my thoughts of being a massive failure have begun to fade with prayer. As always, the Lord was there to pick me up. As much as I thought about quitting and giving up on my lifelong pursuit, the Lord equally reminded me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, His ways are better than my ways. He reminded me of his promises for me and told me to keep on the path towards Him and I will not fail. Slowly, I began to cast my cares upon the Lord. I reminded myself of things learnt at Limitless Festival and how we must wait on the Lord and wait with the Lord. He restored my strength. I found motivation again. Although one of the assignments still makes me wanna cry, it doesn't make me want to quit. The Lord also encouraged me through my sisters and through new-found friends. Having a community is just so much better than wallowing by yourself. 

To my sister who probably isn't reading this. Thanks for reminding me of the hope Christmas brings. You may have been being a bit silly, but when you said to just put the word 'Christmas' in front of everything, it actually really encouraged me. When you told me to think about them as 'Christmas' assignments (assignments due before Christmas, "Completing them will be a Christmas present to yourself, they're Christmas assignments"). It actually made me feel better and reminded me that Jesus is the hope of Christmas and when I am sticking 'Christmas' in front of everything, I am reminded that we must do all things for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). Christmas was all about bringing glory to God, so why shouldn't my assignments and work be for the glory of God. So, thank you for encouraging me and bringing me Hope when I was feeling down and stressed. 

That same morning, I met someone at church that goes to my uni and we got on straight away. I thank the Lord, that both years, he has gifted me a friend that I may share in the glory of God with. 

As I write this, it is literally 10 minutes until the first of December, and I am listening to Crowder's new Christmas Album and eating cake. I am filled with hope and motivation for the future and filled with the Christmas spirit. Without my family around me, it is hard to feel the Christmas spirit, but this week I have really been trying to choose to spend more time in the Lord's presence and that is enough to fill me with the joy, peace and hope that Christmas is.

Thanks for reading as always. If you're feeling down I hope this encouraged you in some way. I pray you too find the hope that the celebration of Jesus' birth brings. 

Merry Christmas!

BeeBee

xxx

I leave you with these Christmas vibes

I went to France.

I've had a busy couple of weeks and over 1000 photos to prove it 😝 A few big life things first...

My brother got married!!

I saw Imagine Dragons in concert. Which was just incredible!

I had my university Summer ball and said goodbye to the year.  

Now that the main things are out of the way...

On the 1st of July, my friends and I took a wonderful holiday to France together. We stayed in M's family's house in Spezet, Brittany. 

The first part of the week was unfortunately uneventful because of a little accident that happened with M's car keys, which meant we didn't have access to her car for four days. So for the first four days, we just chilled, drank mojitos and sunbathed in the garden. Even though we couldn't get out of the house it was wonderful to just be together and laugh. Cooking together and coming up with some yummy meals was always fun too. 

Once we got the car keys all sorted and could leave the house. We got to see a beautiful chateau on the Thursday and cool off in the sea on Friday and Saturday. We also braved going to a French nightclub on Saturday which was a bit scary and awkward to start with, but eventually a lot of fun!

Our last day was spent walking around Huelgoat. This place that is basically just filled with massive boulders and a river running underneath them. The rest of the day was spent packing and cleaning ready to leave the house in the morning. 

 

 

Monday and Tuesday was goodbye to France and Friends. France was so much fun. It was my first ever holiday without my family which felt odd, but like a new adventure. Growing up is scary, but also a lot of fun. I am very much enjoying my twenty's. Taking in every moment, memory and new adventures I have with friends and myself. I can't wait for what's next. 

Limitless Festival is coming up soon and this year I'm a volunteer. The thought of it is so scary, but I believe in what God is going to do through me, in me and around me. It will be so good to meet new people, be apart of a great team and experience the event in such a different, but exciting new way. 

BeeBee

xxx

The Lesson of True Surrender

 What a year it's been! And it's not even over quite yet. I have too many things I should probably be doing instead of this, but this is hopefully going to motivate me. 

The last time I wrote it had been only three weeks, now it has been six months. There is too much to talk about and yet not enough. University has certainly had its struggles, but for the most part, I have enjoyed it, God has done some amazing things in me and given me the most amazing friends. Friendships at University are honestly one of the best parts. Although there may be a few I won't see next year, I believe we will stay in contact and I can't wait to continue to build on the friendships. My friendship with Tabbie has been particularly wonderful. If you haven't read my previous post, she is a friend of faith and it has been so wonderful to have that bond. What is so wonderful is she also introduced me to someone else who is a Christian and we all started this little Tuesday night worship session in Tabbie's room. It has been one of the best things and such a great support system to be able to gather, worship the Lord together, pray together and talk and discuss the bible. The Lord has given us so much joy and peace in that little room of Tabbie's.

The big lesson God has taught me this year is True Surrender. At the beginning of the year, I really loved doing all the uni things like going out twice a week, or even the fact that I live alone now means I can watch the movies I couldn't watch before. However, turns out, even though these things are fun, they are also the things that pulled me away from God in the first months of uni. Because I was out late, or maybe not even out, just generally up late, I wouldn't get up to read my bible, because I wasn't reading my bible I didn't really feel like going to church, because I didn't go to church, I sort of stopped listening to worship music. I basically became a pretty shoddy Christian, I would pray every now and then, apologise for my behaviour, but not do anything about it, tell myself the lord still loved me, etc. Before Uni I had been reading my bible so regularly and I was so connected to God. I think when uni started I got so excited about being able to do things I always wanted to try, but then I let myself enjoy the things too much because they drew me away from my faith. For almost half the academic year I struggled with this, I wanted to enjoy going out and getting drunk without feeling guilty after, I wanted to not have to put time into my relationship with God, but still have God speak to me and be filled with the Holy Spirit. There would be days when I would get up and read my bible or my devotional and feel connected to God again, but I wasn't really listening to him, I was hearing him telling me to choose Him or my own ways, and I would pray that he would help me be bold and choose him, but then hours later I would forget that I just surrendered to Him and go back to ignoring Him and choosing to do things my own way. The worst part about this is that I knew what I was doing was making me unhappy, it was making me sad and struggle to get through the week because I was so angry with myself, I always felt guilty and stupid and it was just not good, I knew I was living wrong. I would cry out to God for help because I was feeling so torn, I knew I couldn't have both, but I was afraid to give myself to God fully because every time I'm close to God I know He might ask me to step out of my comfort zone. That's what he does, every time I'm closest and stronger in my faith, He asks me to do something brave, something I don't want to do. I really don't like going up in front of people and talking, I don't like shouting out, it even took me a while to join the worship team in the church because I'm so afraid of His callings for me. I was torn between God and the world, but I got comfortable in the struggle. I was crying out for help, but I didn't do anything to change, I just wanted God to make it okay for me to have both, but I can't have both. God doesn't want my halfhearted love, He wants ALL of me. He is a jealous God.

Around February, sick of feeling unhappy and torn, sick of making wrong decisions and not feeling motivated, I decided to make some changes. I began to read my devotional more, began praying regularly, and tried to go to church more, I also had my Tuesday night worship sessions. God began to challenge me, but He also comforted me, He spoke words of love, grace and protection. Being around other Christians is always what I needed. It was better, I was connected to God again, filled with joy, but I still hadn't FULLY surrendered to God quite yet. 

The devotional book I am reading at the moment is by Jeremy Riddle, called The Reset. It is a book about worship and wholehearted surrender. It is so challenging and requires me to truly ask questions about the way I live out my faith. This book has been such a revelation for me, especially during that time of indecision. Fast forward to the beginning of March, I get a message from a friend about signing up to be a volunteer at Limitless Festival. Bear in mind I have previously had a message about this from my brother, my brother asked more generally to the family, but the friend messaged me directly. It was quite funny because I mentioned to her that my brother had messaged about this already and I was thinking about it, she then joked "haha, maybe it's a sign". I laughed this off a little, but I was also thinking the same thing a little bit. Essentially I had to start thinking about and praying about becoming a volunteer for Limitless Festival more seriously. At first, I didn't want it to be a sign, I wanted to continue being just a young adult for one more year, but the more I prayed, the more I talked to others about it, the more I knew it was something I had to say yes too. Even though I knew I had to say yes, I was still slightly hesitant. I kept praying. God helped me to see that I needed to take this step forward in my faith, I had become too comfortable in my cycle of choosing myself over God. I had become too comfortable in saying no to God when He called me. One morning I was reading my book by Jeremy Riddle, and the chapter was bout about complete, wholehearted surrender, he talked about his journey with it and how he learned to die to himself and his dreams and surrender to God's will for his life. His story resonated with me, his journey of struggling to choose between his dreams and God's will. Jeremy eventually found his way down the narrow road by praying "Not my will for my life, but Yours be done.". I needed this. I sat there in my room that morning surrendering everything to the Lord, praying for grace and forgiveness for thinking my way was better, for saying "no" all this time and drifting away from Him over and over again. I asked for bravery, I prayed for confidence in my yes to the Lord. It was an instant peace in my heart that morning. My heart had been so heavy, so torn, but surrendering to the Lord, He freed me.

I eventually got in contact with the person setting up a group of volunteers and we discussed what team I would like to serve on. It took me a few days to decide, but after a couple days of asking a few people what their thoughts were, I am now on the youth prayer team! I am so excited for this and so excited to see what God is going to do, not only in me but just in that place for all those people. These past weeks I have felt so much peace and freedom within myself. It is the most whole I have felt since starting university. I praise the Lord for taking me on this journey, for teaching me these lessons in surrender, there is still progress to be made, but I believe I am taking steps forward, I am done being comfortable, I am ready to lean on the Lord and take risks, I want to move forward, I pray it will finally not be something I am reluctant to do, but I will welcome the things that are challenging and require all my faith and for me lean and surrender completely to Him. 

Exams are coming up and I am very anxious about not passing some of them. I have done alright in my work so far, getting mostly high passes and occasionally a merit, but the exams and my last couple of assessments are honestly the hardest things. Over Easter, I am basically going to be revising my ass off. But I trust the Lord. I'm hoping I get a bit of a break as well. 

I'm not sure I'm quite ready for this year to end, we still have a few months left and I am going to be soaking up every moment and every memory, but it's sad, I'm gonna miss it. 

This summer there are some fun things planned, I'm going to see Imagine Dragons with one of my friends, we have the summer ball at the end of the year and a few friends and I are going to France in July. It's all very exciting! I am going to miss everyone so much over the summer and miss the people who I won't see next year and even though the academic side of the university is so hard, I have loved it, learning everything, and even more excited for my choice of modules next year.  

I think that is all for now. I'll leave you with a few pictures.

Thanks for reading as always, I enjoy just letting some stuff out every now and then.

BeeBee

xxx

Moving to University

Moving away from home is a scary thing, especially when you've lived with 9 people for almost all your life. Uni is so exciting, but at the same time, I don't think it's quite dawned on me what I am about to spend the next 3 or 4 years of my life doing. I've been at uni for 3 weeks and it just feels like a long holiday, but this is my life now. Attending lectures every day and putting effort into reading and other things I don't always enjoy. I am enjoying learning about animals again after being out of education for a year, but it's still scary and it's still uni.

The days before I left were very emotional and stressful, but I got through it and it was actually quite fun the day I moved in. I miss home a lot, that first day I moved, once my mum and dad left I almost burst into tears in the middle of the cafeteria. I managed to hold it in, but it dawned on me, that I am alone, I am without my family, without my comfort space, my safe place, my home. It still feels like that a lot of the time, but I have settled in better and feel more okay on my own now. I'm getting by and God provided the friends I needed straight away. He provided people who made me feel less alone and people with who I feel I can really be myself around and encourage me so much. I've known them for only three weeks, but I love them already. 

Like I said before, I am really enjoying university, but it is so tiring. I have never napped as much as I did in that first week and a half of uni. I was scrolling through a student Instagram page yesterday and I had never related to anything more. I always thought I would manage to skip those stereotypes of being a student, but I didn't, I fell right into those stereotypes of being a uni student. It actually makes me laugh a lot. All those things I thought I'd never relate to because I was going to keep good sleeping habits and do my homework and assignments in good time. I would read a lot and keep my room tidy, I would focus in class and engage, etc, etc. Don't get me wrong, I do focus in class and keep my room to a fairly tidy standard, but I am always tired, I am keeping terrible sleeping habits and I actually forgot to do some homework we got set last week. I even thought about skipping a class the other day because I was so tired, I didn't, but I have never actually thought about doing this, or at least never took this thought as seriously as I did the other day. 

I don't really know where I am going with this post, I just needed to do something that motivates me and wanted to write and tell you guys about how uni is going for me. For the most part, I am enjoying it,  I just need to start getting in the habit of using my time a bit more wisely and not staring at my phone endlessly with all my spare time. Some of the things I really need to start looking at and doing is 1. Buying some books, but man are academic books expensive!! 2. I need to look at booking some driving lessons. I need to really get back into that before I end up leaving it too long. 3. Organising and rewriting notes so that knowledge sticks now and I'm not trying to remember it all when it comes to the actual assignements and assessments. Theres a lot more I need to do, but these are the main ones. I'm convinced this week I will be productive, but probs come Tuesday, that won't be the case.

Let's talk about something really good that's happened  and that I praise God for every day. I already talked about the amazing friends he has given me, we clicked so easy and it was great. But, there is one particular friend I would like to talk about and praise God for. 

For most my life I have never really had Christian Friends my age. I have had Christian friends, but they were always part of a wider youth group, so they were never really 'my friends' if you know what I mean. So the only people I have ever been able to talk to about faith, or my personal faith has been my family, or extended family. Until now. 

Last Sunday, I got a text from a friends mum in Chester who said she had met this girl in church that morning that goes to Reaseheath and wanted to pass on my number to her. I, of course said that's fine. This girl got in contact with me, lets call her Tabbie. She mentioned she was living on campus and wanted to meet because she hasn't yet met anyone on campus who is a Christian, and neither had I. We met up the following Tuesday and we instantly had a connection, we had so much in common and got along. We fed the ducks for a little while, and then we decide to get out of the rain and go sit in one of the cafe's. We continue chatting and a little while later, this girl who had been sitting behind us (Calling her Mel) approaches us and just says something along the lines of "I didn't mean to easdrop, but you guys are the first Christians I've heard of here, I am a Christian too" We all just went "WOW, no way, this is crazy!" you know the usual. We invite her to sit down with us and we all get talking and getting to know each other and it was just so good. Mel eventually had to leave and get to her next lesson, but we exchanged numbers so we could keep in contact and meet again soon. Me and Tabbie were talking once she left and we realised that before Mel came and sat with us, we both had this sense Mel was listening to us, that 'ooh maybe the person behind us is interested in what we're talking about' sort of thing. And then Mel approached us and turns out she was in fact a Christian. It was a Holy Spirit moment. One of those moments you don't realise is the Holy Spirit until its over. It was such a quiet whisper of a thought, but I believe it was the Holy Spirit because both me and Tabbie believed Mel was listening behind us. It was so weird and amazing at the same time. 

Tabbie and I have hung out a couple times since then and each time it just feels amazing that I can mention Jesus or church to someone without getting weird looks or all sorts of questions. I don't mind that sometimes, but you have no idea how good it is to make a friend I can share biblical thoughts with and have interesting conversations about what we both believe and everything. We are also both on an animal course which means I finally have someone that shares my same thoughts on evolution (besides my family). After the first meeting on Tuesday, I went back to my room and just felt so much joy, I was just jumping and smiling about in my room. I am so thankful God has put both these beautiful, faith-filled woman in  my life.

Anyway, I'll end this talky post with a nice basic room tour.

BeeBee

xxx

That Summer Update

It seems I've sucked at keeping up my blog this year, There have been many times I've thought about writing my blog but the motivation wasn't there. Today I am off work and have a completely free day so I am forcing myself to write my blog because I actually do enjoy it, it just takes time. 

I last updated you in March, it is now August! When I last wrote I had just got my job, I am now 4 days away from finishing my job. I am one month away from going to university, I've had driving lessons and taking my second theory test in a week; I've been wild camping on a beach in Wales with some great people, I've attended a friends wedding via live stream, been on a lot of walks, had our first gathering-in-the building church service, summer is almost over, and just this weekend we had Limitless Festival 2021 (online again). 

Talking about all of this in detail will take too long. Instead, I am going to talk about only the highlights.

5th April

Liverpool light show trail.

So many cool pieces of art using light. 

 

June/6th of June

Our friend got married and First Sunday back in Church.

We sadly couldn't be there for our friend's wedding but we got to join in on the live stream. 

We had our first Sunday back in the church! It is honestly so good to be back in church, meeting as a church and being with my people! Praise the Lord! We also had some nice warm weather in June.

2nd July 

Wild Camping

This was honestly one of the best weekends of this year. The people I went with were so much fun to be with. We had such a laugh playing games around the campfire, eating food and going to bed ridiculously late, all curled up and squished together in our sleeping bags, on the sand. 

 

  

5th July

Alton Towers

My first time going to Alton Towers. My sister and I wanted to go before I head off to Uni so we went just us and my Dad. My favourite was definitely the Wicker Man. We sadly missed some of the roller coasters we wanted to go on, but I guess it's just an excuse to go again. :)

8th July

University Tour/Nantwich Visit

I got to go see my uni accommodation and get familiar with my university again. It honestly made me so excited to move and get started. It is scary but exciting. 

 

6th - 7th July

Limitless Festival - Gather//Pray//Go

Day one started with an 11 o'clock morning session. Then we got to have some fun and gather together, so for our gather activity, we made mocktails which were actually so good. We would continue our games later before the evening service, but before that, we painted some rocks and went out and prayed over them as we hid them around Newsham Park ready for people to find and be encouraged by. After the evening main session, some of us decided to stay up and watch the Late Night prayer session which was so nice to finish off the evening with some prayer and reflection.

 

Day 2 was an earlier start. We left the house around 10 o'clock to meet with City Church so that we could watch the main session together. As we walked up to City Church we prayed for our community and prayed for anything that God set on our hearts. It may have been a rather wet walk, but we didn't let that ruin anything for us. Day 2 I think was my favourite, it felt amazing to be able to gather with another church, pray, play games and have fun. God did some amazing things that afternoon during our prayer time. The evening was amazing too and I can't wait for next year when, praying to God, we actually get to gather ALL together as one big massive church. 

 

Now you're all caught up with me I guess. I am going to try to write one more blog post before I go to university in September. I will also be trying to keep up my blog while I'm at university. I do really enjoy doing this. It's mostly for me to see my life through the years, even if my old posts are so cringey 😆.

Thank you for reading my not so interesting life ;)

BeeBee

xxx

I got a job!!!

Honestly, I've felt very un-inspired at the moment, especially when it comes to being creative with my blog or paintings. But today, I found my inspiration just by spending lots of time praying and reading the book of Acts this morning, so it's been a few minutes, but I'm back. 

Since I last talked, I have gotten into Reaseheath university and applied for student finance. I'm just waiting for applications for accommodation to open, and then I'll be applying for that. Not only have I got into university, but I have also got a job!

I've been at this job for a month now and I am really enjoying it. I'm working in a pharmacy, mostly on the till or serving customers. This job is very different from what I imagined myself doing, but I think it's exactly what God planned for me. The contract is also perfect, ending just a few weeks before I head to university. When I first got this job I was worried that I was going to really dislike it and get bored of it quite quickly. I am the sort of person that needs every day to be slightly different, I get bored quite quickly in a routine. When I was doing work experience in the RSPCA cattery I got bored very quickly because each day felt exactly the same, but I also didn't have that many duties so I wasn't kept busy either. But, in this job, in the pharmacy, every day feels different, you may have the same people come in, I might have the same sort of duties every day, but each day there is always something different. I am only ever in for half a day, I get along with everyone, I love that it is a people job and I get to talk to people and get to know the regulars. I feel very comfortable in this job and plus its great experience to have for the future. So, while I wasn't sure about the job to start with, I sure am now because I know it is exactly what God had planned for me. 

My first week of work felt so good. To actually have been getting up to go somewhere and do something. To be interacting with people outside of my family, to be learning new things. It was just so good to feel motivated! Now that I've been working for 4 weeks, I'll admit I'm tired, but I'm not bored, I'm still fairly new at things, still learning the ropes with some things and so I am not bored. My hours are also so nice, for 2 days a week I work 10-3pm, which means when I get home I have time to paint or read or play games with my family. For 3 days a week, I work 1-6pm, which gives me a nice lie-in, it gives me time in the morning, if I get up early enough, to just do whatever, and then I just work until the end of the day. It's honestly a great job and it's all thanks to God and his amazing plan and amazing timing.

I can't thank God enough for what he has done for me, he has brought me peace with every step of this job search and brought me peace and joy and trust in him with each day of my job. His promises are so good. 

I recently realised that I am literally living in the times of my life I used to imagine living as a kid and honestly it is pretty close to what I imagined. I have a job, I'm off to uni soon, I can't drive yet, but I've had lessons and I am at that age where it's quite nice to have responsibility, but not too much responsibility. I feel good about where my life is and I am looking forward to what these next few months may hold and I am very excited for university. 

Thanks for reading.

BeeBee

xxx

Hello 2021!

A week and a half into 2021! Happy New Year! I hope despite being back in Lockdown that your year is going okay so far.

A lot happened in 2020, and yet, not a lot happened in 2020. For me, it actually wasn't all bad. I kept up my blog, I stopped biting my nails, I got cats, I started driving lessons, and applied for university. Most importantly, 2020 has been an excellent year for my faith. 2020 allowed time. Time to get to know God. Time to get to know me. Time to relax. Time to be still. Time to be with family. Time to enjoy just being. It's not that I've never had time to do these things, but there has always been college, or school, or assignments and in my free time all I ever wanted to do was switch off and watch a movie. 2020 allowed for a different type of switching off. Yes, I have spent a lot of time on Netflix and social media, but all the time I would usually be doing assignments or college work, I instead got to know Jesus, go on walks and pray, look at the beauty of what Jesus has done in my life and reflect on what God is teaching me in this time. My faith has been strengthened so much just by having nothing to do. 

There are two things that I would say really helped to strengthen my faith this past year.

The first is taking time to listen. To listen to the air and sounds around me rather than constantly having earphones in and blocking up my ears and mind with music and youtube junk.

The second is to allow the spirit to lead. Taking it step by step, day by day. Not dwelling on the bad things or planning anything, but just allowing the spirit to guide my days, my thoughts. This is what really helped me to stay relaxed, joyful, hopeful, and sane during lockdown.

I mentioned before that I had applied to univetsity last year. My first choice was Reading University, but as of yesterday, I have not been excepted into Reading university. This is should be a bigger disappointment to me than it is because I felt so strongly that this was the uni I was supposed to get to, that Reading was where God was calling me to, evidently not. However, I do not feel as disappointed as I thought I would be. I'll admit I was on the verge of tears when I first received the rejection email, but when I started to think about it and pray about it. I realised God's ways are higher than mine. I know that God will send me where I need to go, He is the one who holds my future. Obviously, this does not mean I am not allowed to be disappointed because I am, but it just means that I know my God is bigger, his ways are better and I have been put on this earth to serve his will, his way, and to let his glory be known. If that means I don't get into the uni I wanted to then so be it. I know God is giving me peace and comfort in my disappointment which just makes me love him so much more.

Reaseheath University is my second choice, it's also where all my friends from college go. I've not yet had a reply from Reaseheath, but I really am praying that I get in. I would love to go to the same uni as my friends. I've also been to Reaseheath before when I was in college, and so there would be some familiarity with it. I don't know what God's plans are, but I know they are plans for me to prosper and not to fail, and so I trust in him.

I don't have much else to write about, I just wanted to get some feelings out. I hope that my feelings have encouraged you. I hope your 2021 is going alright. Remember to breathe. Praying 2021 is an all-round better year for this world. 

BeeBee

xxx